Brotherly kindness
Week 7 of a series examining Christian virtues.

This week we examine the virtue of brotherly kindness, in our walk through the Christian virtues identified by Peter, (2 Peter 1:5-11).
Brotherly kindness is a uniquely Christian concept, but what does it look like?
In a nutshell it is an attitude of warm affectionate devotion that can be shared by brothers and sisters in a close-knit family. Scripture paints a picture of early church life that describes brotherly kindness. Each local congregation was just like a close-knit family, where the members treated one another lovingly and warmly as if they had very close blood ties with each other.
So brotherly kindness is about treating Christians like they are “family”.
(1 Pet 3:8 – finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble;2:17 – show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honour the emperor.)
So before we can “love everyone” we’d better get a good handle on loving the brethren, and being kind to them. This will mean at times we are to prefer one another over those of our friends who see the pub as their place of worship!
(Rom 12:10 – Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves. Gal 6:10 – therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.)
This will involve working at overcoming our selfish wants, and pleasures. Why..?
Because …
- We have the same father now
- We serve the same master – Jesus
- We are all in the same family – the family of God
- We are only “visiting this planet”
- We are all heirs of the same inheritance
I don’t need to tell you that showing brotherly kindness is not easy. It is one of the hardest challenges for the Christian.
Maybe you are able to get along with people in the fellowship, maybe you are able to like them, maybe you are even able to love some, but to love all fervently… really God?
(1 Pet 1:22 – Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.)
This is why our attitude and approach towards other Bible believers must be worked on.
(Col 3:12 – Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.)
This step will be attacked – yet it must be maintained, through thick and thin.
(Heb 13:1 – Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.)
Jesus compared the Christian family with marriage. The moment a couple are married someone new has entered your family – You’ve got to love them! You’ve got to love them in good times, in bad times, in sickness and in health. The proof that you are a Christian is how you love and care for other Christians.
This is so much more than just being “nice” because the way scripture teaches us to treat our brother and sister is not always soft and gentle, for if they wander from the path God has for them we are to call them back. But whatever is done, it must be always done in love.
So brotherly kindness is to be kind, tender, sacrificial.
(1 John 3:16 – This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.)
Yet at the same time it is to be straight-up, direct, correcting, because you are looking out for a member of the family. That’s God’s kind of kindness, illustrated by the following examples from scripture:
Gal 4:16 – Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?
Eph 4:15 – Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Pr 27:6 – Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.)
Ps 141:5 – Let a righteous man strike me – that is a kindness; let him rebuke me – that is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it, for my prayer will still be against the deeds of evildoers.
Isa 54:8,10 – In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you,’ says the lord your redeemer. 10 though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the lord, who has compassion on you.)
If you are without this virtue, without brotherly kindness, what then? You will be alone, because without brotherly kindness in your words, and relationships, you will end up being an inactive part of the family God has placed you in.
(Eph 2:19 – Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household)
This can often lead to frustration and anger, for this is the natural replacement of kindness.
Such people could be knowledgeable of the Bible, but exhibit harsh, cruel, spiteful, vengeful attitudes. It’s easy to lose sight that God commands us to treat each other with great care.
If this goes unchecked then they can end up working against the work of Christ in people’s lives, and in their own life.
And Joseph, of Amazing Technicolour Dream coat fame, is a wonderful example of biblical brotherly kindness. (Gen 37-45). His family can be traced back to Abraham via Isaac. Jacob, his father, had twelve sons and he was favoured by his father. The out working of this was that his brothers let jealousy ruin their home (Gen 37:18-20, 23-28, 36).
As Cain had done, they thought about killing him, then decided to sell him – it’s worth noting that the 20 pieces of silver was a bargain for the normal price for a slave was 30 pieces of silver!
So for the next 13 years Joseph was a slave. Then he spent three years in prison before God raised him up to rule as prince of Egypt, (Gen 39:20)
But it was another eight years until he met his brothers (Gen 42:3-8).. Through all of this, God was with Joseph – God didn’t abandon him – God had a plan He was working out.
How would you handle a family situation like Joseph’s?
Joseph handled it this way – he loved them – he never stayed angry at them, or got bitter – ever! He didn’t let the past shape his present and future – no revenge was sought. He learnt from his experience – yes, he was “rough” with them “for a season” but in the background there was kindness.
He carefully worked things so they would care about Benjamin like they should have cared for him. He also made sure they cared about their father’s feelings.
Yes, he let them stew, but it gave them time to think things through. In doing this he allowed God to fix the problems, for often there are no quick fixes – he just wanted a strong family.
He lent them a hand – took care of them and blessed them. He loved them openly and was not ashamed to show them off as his family.
So how does this apply to a church, to the family of God?
We are a big family, with problems like all families. We suffer from envy, disappointments, misunderstandings etc. How we react is far more important than how we are treated.
We need to nurture brotherly kindness by accepting it as a gift from God, for He is always very kind and gentle towards us. Then we are to do things not just because someone is worthy, but because they are family. If we show kindness with fervency – it will grow on us!
In all this we need to ask God to help us take this step for He is “with us”, because He does have a plan for each of us, a plan that means we will be a blessing to others!
Ephesians 4:30-32 is still a direct command in the Bible:
30 And do not grieve the holy spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Conclusion
All this begins with Jesus, who went through all that Joseph experienced, but on a massive scale – and yet loves us still for He is kind to us still.
If Jesus is your Saviour, then as a child of God, believers deserve your loving kindness, not because they are worthy, but because they are family.